Cliches For The Singles

Clichés For The Singles

Please excuse me for a moment

While I take a little time

To humor you with some clichés

I hear in this single life of mine

You’ve probably said

Many of these, I’m sure

But don’t be offended

I know your intents are pure

Let’s start with my “favorite”

Which goes a lot like this:

“Maybe you’re not meant in this life

To experience marital bliss”

Gee thanks for your confidence

I’d never thought of that…

I’ve only worried a lot about it

I’m really glad we had this chat

Now onto the next cliché

That I sometimes hear

I’ve been told I’m too picky

But have you seen it here?

It’s a big, fat drought in the land…

Hardly any men in sight

So even if I wanted to be picky

It would be quite the plight

Oh, now here’s a good one

Are you ready for it?

“Just enjoy your life

And don’t worry one bit”

That had never crossed my mind-

To be happy right now

And enjoy my life as it is

Until you said that; Wow!

I guess I’ll go on

Because there’s a few more

You probably didn’t realize

All the clichés I endure

I’ve been told I haven’t met

The right one just yet

But that I’m to be patient

And he’ll find me, no sweat

I’m glad we went over this

I was totally perplexed

I thought I’d found him

And that marriage was next

Because I mean, really

Guys are lined up at my door

I’ve been on so many dates

It’s become a big bore

Of course I am kidding

Remember, it’s a drought

Guys hardly ever talk to me

I forgot what dates are, no doubt

Well, while we’re at it

Let’s go one more round

This is a great one

A real doozy, I’ve found

Many people have said

I intimidate guys

Oh, please…are you sure?

Maybe you should open your eyes

It’s not my “incredible good looks”

Or my “outstanding smarts”

That’s making these guys

Too afraid to share their hearts

There’s nothing about me

That would intimidate men

They just don’t talk to me

And that is the end

So maybe I’ve been

A little sarcastic indeed

But these are clichés

People think I need

I know I’ve made fun

Of all the advice I’ve heard

But it gets old and crusty

And sort of absurd

I know things are said

Because people care for me

But if you heard them many times

Then you’d probably agree

©Alisha Gilbert

April ‘10